I just finished reading 1776 by David McCullough, and am amazed (though I shouldn't be) at how little I knew about the Revolutionary War.  I'm not sure if it's because History has always been a weak subject for me, or because we moved around so much when I was a kid, or I just had a lot of really bad teachers... I suspect it's a combination of the three.

For example, I honestly always believed that the signing of the Declaration of Independence following the Battle of Bunker Hill marked the end of the war.  In reality, that was closer to the beginning of the war.  I don't think I'd ever heard of the Treaty of Paris of 1783 before.  I knew Washington crossing the Delaware was a big deal, but really had no clue why.

I remember studying a lot about the parts of the Revolutionary War that took place in New England, but nothing else.  Perhaps that's because I lived in New England for all of elementary school?  (My high school US History teacher was a JOKE- he'd come in, give us an assignment, then go to the teacher's lounge to smoke and drink coffee.  On my final exam, as two members of the cabinet, I listed peas and carrots, and got the question right.  So, being in Las Vegas for high school didn't help counter my poor elementary school education).

I feel really dumb now, and know that there's a LOT of stuff I either mislearned or never learned at all, and feel like I should get to studying.  Maybe I need to pick up a math book and read that for a while, so I feel less dumb?  Work some calculus problems... *sigh*

I've been on the verge of tears all day, because of the pain throughout my body.
I finally broke down a short time ago, after realizing that my current crocheting project wasn't working out the way I wanted it to, and then taking it all apart.

Part of it is because I wish I was at the Gathering, but most of it is because I'm scared that the pain will never get better, and I'll never be able to enjoy a game convention again.  Both of my arms have started tremoring, although it's very slight most of the time.  It only seems to get bad when I'm having a panic attack.  Fortunately, now that my Effexor is regulated a bit more, those seem to be mostly under control.

Unfortunately, due to my ongoing health issues (and the subsequent lack of funds), I will not be at the Gathering this year.  I've e-mailed Alan about this (his recent update that included details about his back issues resonated with me, because my back is hurting that much fairly regularly for the last several months), so he knows, and I've given him permission to let anyone who asks know why I'm not there.  (Not that I expect anyone to ask, since most people will already know from here or various other places, such as Facebook, that I have posted this information).

So, anyone from here who is asked also has my permission to tell people why I'm not there this year.  Feel free to give as much or as little information as you feel comfortable giving, and you can also give out my e-mail address (preferably the gmail one if you have that) to anyone who asks for it.

I'm very sad that I won't be able to make it, but I also know it's the most practical thing to do.  

( Medical semi-rant )

And I have to miss the Gathering of Friends this year, which just really upsets me.

No, I'm not talking about a lesbian, either.

I feel like once I get one symptom under control, another one (or four) pop up in its place.  I've finally gotten the itching more or less under control, by combining Benadryl (actually, Waladryl, which is the Walgreen's version of Benadryl), Lanacane, and when the Lanacane wears off after a few hours, baking soda & water paste.  This seems to be helping quite a bit, because even when the itching returns, it isn't as bad as it was.

But, I have 3 or 4 new lesions today, and I think I'm running a fever.  I can't find my thermometer to take my temp, but I keep getting bad chills and yet my skin is very hot to the touch, especially my face.  And my cheeks are really red, while the rest of my face is quite pale.  And I have a weird taste in my mouth that I can't seem to get rid of (that taste actually has been coming and going for about a week now, so I know it's not from the Benadryl or anything).

I haven't called the doc that drlaurac recommended yet, because it's about an hour away, and transportation is going to be a pain.  I wanted to talk to my friend Tim about it, but he was working extra shifts this week, so we didn't have a chance to connect, and now he's in Florida for a wedding.

In good news, my friends had their babies today, after 33 hours of labor.  They've posted pics of the babies already, as well as Mom, who looks freaking FANTASTIC, despite not sleeping or eating for 33 hours.  She seriously could be in a movie or on TV, she looked that good.  (You know what I mean- the women who "wake up" and already look all perfect).  And the babies are just too damned cute for words.

I'm not quite sure what has happened to me, though- I used to have to force excitement for friends who were having kids, I've never genuinely felt really excited for them before.  Sure, I felt happy for them, but not excited.  Maybe it's because the people who I know now that are having kids are better friends and better people overall, and I think they'd make much better parents?  Maybe I'm getting softer as I get older?  Regardless, I'm really excited to meet these new people!  And, the thought of holding them doesn't scare the hell out of me- I'd actually consider holding a baby if Rob handed me one.  I'm not sure I'd accept, because I'm fairly convinced I'd break it, but just considering it seems huge to me.

WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, I was finally able to get to the drug store to make some purchases.  I showed the pharmacist one arm and told her what was wrong (Lyme lesions) and what I'd been doing for the itching.  She suggested taking Benadryl as well as using an ointment to help with it.  So, I bought 2 boxes of the Walgreen's brand of Benadryl (it was buy 1, get 1 free- W00T!).  I'm going to take that in a few minutes, when I'm ready to go to bed.  (I got the pharmacist's opinion because she was actually able to see the rash... I totally trust everyone who provided opinions on here, but none of you have seen the rash, so I wanted to get an extra opinion from someone who could actually see it)

I also bought some Lanacane, which I used as soon as I got home.  OMFG, drlaurac , you are a GODDESS!!!!!  The itching and burning and pain in my legs went away almost immediately.  It has been just about an hour, and they are still itch-free.  My arms are a little itchy again already, but that's not surprising, because the skin has thickened and is swollen or something... the stretch marks are all swollen up and look funny.  I don't know how to describe it.  I kinda want to take pictures of it, but I have no idea where my camera is right now, and I misplaced the cord to connect the camera to my computer when I moved down here from Indiana.

While looking for the Lanacane, I also found some Arnica Cream on clearance, so I bought that, too.  There was only one box left, marked at $3.19, down from $9.99.  I've used this stuff on sprains and strains before, and it's wonderful.  It's not so great for Lyme, which is more widespread than sprains and strains, but at that price, I couldn't say no.

Oh, and in case belecrivain hasn't heard, Rob R's partner's water broke yesterday morning ... well, just about 24 hours ago now.  She's having twins- a boy and a girl.  WOOHOO!  I think she's at 37 weeks?  Not sure what term is, I know 37 weeks is a little early, but not unexpected for twins.

and I want to quit itching and hurting.  Does anyone know any GOOD things to make itching go away? 

My pcp won't give me another script for the cream I was using, because she doesn't want to interfere with whatever the ID wants to do.  I still don't have an appt for the ID set, so it'll be at least a week until I get in to see someone.

In other news, this story made me cry, because it was so awesome.

Some of you may know some of this stuff from Facebook, some may not.

I have a new doc, who is *NOT* Lyme Literate, but she freely admits she has no clue, and is willing to refer me to whoever I need to be referred to.  WOOHOO for small steps!  She did re-run the Lyme tests, using the lab company most recommended for Lyme tests, and the tests came back positive.  Actually, positive is a Lyme titer of >1.09; my titer was 1.98, and considered "HIGH" by the lab company.

I look a bit like Rainbow Brite these days- my legs (mainly the thighs, but the calves are becoming involved too) and upper arms (again, my lower arms are becoming involved) are all blue, red, yellow, green, and purple from the Lyme lesions, and I have a really fabulous looking one just above my left breast.  (This shows that not only is the Lyme active in my system, but it has become disseminated, which is actually bad news in terms of the progress of the disease, but good news in terms of doctors' willingness to believe I actually *HAVE* Lyme).  The lesions are painful and itchy; I've been told the name of some stuff to get for them, but I need to 1) remember the name (it's in an email somewhere) and 2) figure out where to buy the stuff and 3) get one of the boys to take me to said store, unless I can order it from online.

I tried calling the first person I was referred to, but they don't have any appointments available in February, and won't open their schedule for March until the 25th.  I haven't yet decided if I'm going to wait or try to find someone else.  If anyone knows of any GOOD Infectious Diseases specialists, particularly in the Cobb County area, PLEASE let me know, so I can look into them.

Hmm... maybe I should call CDC while I'm at it, just to see if there's anyone there who wants me to be their guinea pig.  Since I'm allergic to all of the traditional treatments, I'm going to have to go with experimental stuff anyway.  Might as well help the CDC out while I'm at it.

Tim, Patrick, and I spent Valentine's evening together, which was very nice.  Tim made lasagna (using my recipe- I love that the guys liked my lasagna enough to ask for the recipe), and Patrick made molten chocolate cake for dessert.  Then we played Dominion, which my friend Paul sent me for Christmas, after finding out that I hadn't really gotten anything for Christmas.  We've played this game several times, but my brain is so foggy lately that I couldn't really remember how the game worked, even though I'd taught Tim and Patrick how to play.  *sigh*  Still, I had fun, and the game never really felt totally familiar- I had to keep asking if I was doing things correctly- but it was okay.

I'm VERY lucky that Tim and Patrick have seen me on really good days, as well as on very bad days, so they are getting used to when I need help and when I need to work through stuff on my own.  They are also excellent at helping me remember words.  Even more important than that, is that they ACCEPT me, regardless of what kind of day I'm having, and they seem to enjoy my company.  I can't express how grateful I am for that.

I think that most, if not all, of the people who read this blog are also very accepting of me, regardless of how well I'm able to communicate on any given day.  :-)

I've been working on several crocheting projects, but had to start one completely over when I ran out of yarn and couldn't find anymore of that brand and color.  I'm not sure if I like the new yarn I chose or not, but I'm going to continue working on the project for awhile before I decide for sure.  I actually have 5 or 6 projects in the works right now.  I'm a bit surprised by how well I've taken to crocheting, but it's fairly relaxing, and gives me something to do while I'm watching TV.

I've been doing lots of reading lately, trying to catch up on a BUNCH of series that I've started over the years.  So far, I've caught up completely on one, and on two others, I haven't been able to find a copy of the most recently published books, but I'm caught up other than that.  I've been reading a lot of "cozy mysteries"- mysteries where the main character is an amateur sleuth.  Light, fun, easy reading.  I've also been reading some erotica and some paranormal.  I think my book count is around 22 read so far this year.  My average is usually 52 a year, so I'm WAY ahead of that right now.

I watched Dollhouse last week, and thought it had potential.  I really like Eliza Dushku and Amy Acker, which helps.  I saw during a commercial that Summer Glau is on a show, but I'm not sure what show that is, I assume whatever is on right before Dollhouse, so I'll have to look into that.

And there's a new Nathan Fillion show starting in March, I think called Castle, but it's on at the same time as Heroes.  Since I usually wait until Tuesdays to watch Heroes with some friends, this shouldn't be a problem, but I'm hoping I don't forget to watch the NF show.

Can anyone explain to me why the federal government gives a rip whether televisions stations broadcast in digital or not?

www.youtube.com/watch

Okay, so I didn't do that right, but following the link gets you to the video.

... while things in my life aren't very good right now, I am extremely thankful that I have friends and family to help me through the rough times, and accept me despite all my weird quirks.

I am thankful that things are starting to look up.

I am thankful that I had the ability to get a Cornish Game Hen for Thanksgiving dinner, and even more thankful that I had the energy to cook it.

And I am thankful just to be alive.

And in other news...

I enjoyed most of your books, and even some of your movies.
I'm sad that there will be no more.

( Cut for Health )

In other news, I finally got a DVD player, and my friend lent (loaned?) me his TV, so now I can watch movies, which is a nice change of pace.  I can sit and crochet for hours, and my chair is so comfortable... I got it at Goodwill for $5.05, and I have to say it was worth every penny!  It doesn't provide neck support, but because of the support it does provide, my back actually relaxes a bit, so no spasm while I'm sitting in that chair!  I just wish I could sleep in it... lol

Last night, I watched National Treasure 2 and Stardust.  A friend of mine moved to Texas, and gave me a HUGE stack of DVDs... she'd bought multiple copies by accident, or bought them to watch them just once or whatever (she comes from money), and she just didn't feel like packing them up and taking them back to Texas with her.  So, I'm slowly going through them, and sending some on to my sister for her kids.

The rest will eventually be posted on www.swapadvd.com, so I can turn them into other movies!

I've finally watched all of Heroes Seasons 1 & 2, and the first 5 episodes of Season 3.  Such a good show... I'm surprised it didn't go the way of Firefly, it's so good.  But, I'm glad it's still on, and I hope it stays on for a good long time!

I've been wearing shorts.  It's very bizarre.
It is starting to get cooler, so I will have to switch over to long pants, but I'm still a bit stunned.

My not-feeling-well crud (or post-con-crud) has turned into a horrible headache that doesn't get any better, regardless of what I try taking.  It feels like my head's gonna explode.  I'd like a drill, to make two small holes in my forehead, to relieve the pressure.
I still have a runny nose and sore throat, so I'm thinking it's a head cold, but at this point, I'd prefer a migraine... I know how to take care of those.  Whatever this is, is just plain painful.

Oh, and my leg bones hurt again.

But still, it's October, and I've been wearing shorts!!!

Today, I woke up early, in case the pest management guy showed up at 8am.  Unfortunately, I was not able to get up early enough to take a shower.  I really need a shower, because I'm stinky.

My post-con crud has turned into a full-blown cold, although I also seem to be running a fever with it.  blech.

Needless to say, my productivity level has gone down drastically.

But, I did walk to the grocery store, picked up my prescription, and got some groceries.

The groceries aren't put away entirely- just the cold stuff is.

Plus, I emptied all of my cupboards, as instructed by the notice regarding the pest management coming today, so my table is covered with food and dishes.  Of course, the guy didn't even spray in the cupboards, and didn't need the cupboards to be cleared out!!!  So I'm a bit annoyed that I did all that work for nothing.

But, supposedly my bug problem will be gone soon.

I bought Nyquil, so even if my cold problem isn't gone soon, at least I'll be sleeping soundly.

Still have an interview tomorrow.  blech.

I created a to-do list of things that I wanted to get done this weekend.  There's still a lot on it, but I've also been able to cross off a lot of things.

I did move some things to Monday, simply because they could wait and I just don't feel very well right now... I've had an upset stomach for the last 2 days, and my sore throat seems to come and go.  I think I'm coming down with a cold or something.  blech.

Still, I've alphabetized and shelved my books that have authors whose last name begins with A-F.    Now I can start the task of figuring out which parts of series I'm missing, so I can adjust my wishlists on paperbackswap.com and other places as needed.

The last few things I have to do today are wash dishes, empty the cupboards in the kitchen and bathrooms (they are doing a "heavy duty" pest management treatment on Monday), find a good resource for example cover letters (I hate writing them!), and write a generic cover letter so that I can just use that, with minor tweaking, as I'm applying for jobs.

For tomorrow (Monday), I need to do laundry, try to find a primary care physician, and whatever else comes up that needs to be added to the list.

Tuesday is my interview with the temp agency, so hopefully I'll be back to work within a week or two!!!

I need to buy some more shelves before I can sort and shelve the rest of my books.

Other things I need to get to as I have time: sort through my games and adjust my list at boardgamegeek.com, sort through my CDs and adjust my list at swapacd.com, and sort through my DVDs and adjust my list at swapadvd.com.  These will all have to wait until I get more furniture- shelves, TV, etc.

It's all about taking baby steps!!

My college alma mater is once again doing well in football... http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/recap?gid=200809250061
I'm always happy when I see them do well... they sucked REALLY BADLY when I was in school... like 1 win a year bad.  Of course, that 1 win was often against our arch rival, the Ducks, so it was the only one that counted.  I remember attending many a game and while leaving, hearing a lot of comments like, "well, at least we hurt more of their players than they did of ours..."  Sad, but true.

I've been having LOTS of weird dreams lately, and it doesn't seem to matter whether I've taken my night time meds or not.  I was going to share the latest, since I remembered it in detail upon waking, but now I can't remember it.

The news about WaMu has me annoyed and nervous, since that's my bank.  Not sure if I want to deal with Chase or not... might be switching banks sooner rather than later.  Oy.

Not sure why I've started saying oy a lot, either.  I know it's my abbreviation of oy vey, but not sure where I picked it up or why.

I feel like I've been battered with a 2x4 or something today... and I have a sore throat, which is a sure sign that I'm coming down with a cold or that my Lyme is acting up again.  Since the Lyme has been acting up recently anyway, I'm thinking it's a cold... the sore throat is too late to announce the Lyme thing.

I have an interview with the local Office Team office on Tuesday... I hope I'm awake enough for it... lol.

If I remember the other stuff I wanted to ramble about, there'll be another post later today.  Otherwise, I guess this is it.

Your results:
You are Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)

Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 85% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 85% Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 70% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 65% River (Stowaway) 55% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 55% Inara Serra (Companion) 45% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 40% Wash (Ship Pilot) 35% A Reaver (Cannibal) 35% Alliance 25%

Honest and a defender of the innocent. You sometimes make mistakes in judgment but you are generally good and would protect your crew from harm.

Click here to take the Serenity Firefly Personality Test

Thanks to drlaurac , I was able to attend Anime Weekend Atlanta this weekend, and I had an incredible time.
Strictly speaking, I'm not *into* anime, but I'm not really *not* into it, either.  That is to say, the little bit I'd been exposed to prior to this weekend I've really enjoyed, but it isn't something I've sought out on my own.  It's more something that people have said, "hey, let's watch Ranma 1/2" and I've said okay, and watched.  And, more importantly, enjoyed.  (Ranma 1/2 is probably the only anime I could name prior to this weekend).

After this weekend, however, I can say that there is a lot of stuff out there that really catches my interest.

Luckily, my friends Tim and Patrick were willing to go to AWA with me, and Tim convinced me to use a wheelchair to get around.  We went on Thursday evening to pick up our badges, and I used my crutches.  Just one time around the main floor of the event had me so exhausted that I agreed to the wheelchair, even though I *really* did not want to use it.  In the end, I'm glad I did, because I was so exhausted and hurting so much that by Sunday, I was done.  I slept most of Sunday.

Anyway, after Tim and Patrick got their badges on Thursday, we went to find drlaurac , so I could get mine.  She invited us to stay at her party, and the guys were fine with it, so we hung out for awhile, listening to random stories that various people had to tell.  It was also cool to meet some new people, and to visit with people I've known for awhile.

On Friday, we headed over around noonish, and wandered around.  I've been to game conventions before, but I've never been to a convention quite like this... there were a lot of people wearing costumes, and some of the costumes were *really* intricate.  I have no clue who the vast majority of the people were supposed to be, and some of the ones I recognized I just didn't understand why they were there.  For example, I was a bit surprised to see people dressed as Disney princesses, as well as the guy dressed as someone from the original Star Trek.  But, the costumes clearly made the people wearing them happy, and it was rather cool to see people getting that into the weekend.

On Friday, I also experienced the true aroma of "con-funk" for the first time.  At gaming events, I've smelled what I'll now think of as just plain poor hygiene, because the con-funk is a completely different beast.

I spent quite a bit of time in the dealer's room, looking at various things, and even bought a couple of Manga books, as well as a picture for my wall.  I went back on Saturday and bought some posters as well.  And some rubber duckies!  

We also spent some time at different panels, which were sometimes entertaining, and sometimes not so good.  One panel in particular, we left early, because the presenter was clearly just not prepared, and as a result, allowed someone in the audience to derail the presentation.  This was too bad, because it was one of the few that I thought could have been really educational for me.

On Saturday, Tim and I played an RPG called Anima.  I had a good time because I enjoy your basic hack 'n' slash type games, which is what this was.  However, as Tim pointed out afterwards, the game itself was very grindy... there were a lot of die rolls and referring to tables and whatnot.  And character creation was a bit rough, simply because there wasn't enough time for the GM to really explain the game itself.  In the future, I would recommend that the RPGs use only pre-generated characters and spend the "character creation" time explaining how the game works.  Especially since Anima hasn't even been released in the US yet.  Still, I did enjoy the time spent there.  We also each got 3 small prints, to thank us for playing, and the GM gave us snacks and these really bizarre drinks that you had to have some level of skill to open.

After Anima, Tim and I joined Patrick in the Yaoi After Dark room, where there were some people playing Who's Line Is It Anyway.  I bought a few more prints, and the artist of the prints said hello.  Sadly, I didn't catch her name, and I can't read it on the prints.  But, she's very talented, and I love the pictures I bought.  I'll have to buy some frames for all the artwork I got this weekend!

Something else I learned this weekend is that wheelchairs are a major pain in the ass.  Nevermind the fact that they are very difficult to roll on carpet, but most of the bathrooms in the hotel were impossible to get into.  Many of them had these little lip things that were in the doorway, and they aren't tapered to allow for wheelchair access.  In several bathrooms, the "handicap accessible" stalls had arm holds, but there wasn't enough room to put the wheelchair in the stall and close the door.  Throughout the event, people would simply walk into the chair, or cut in front of me, bumping into my bad ankle.  But, there were just as many people who were extremely helpful... one guy working with drlaurac 's team showed us a back way into the ballroom, so we could avoid the majority of the crowd.  Of course, I immediately forgot how to get to that back door, which made it less than useful, but at least the guy tried- it was *my* fault that it wasn't useful information.  Another random staff member saw me struggling to roll my chair on the carpet, and actually took me to the dealers room, for which I was very grateful.  Countless staffers had con attendees stop so that I could go in and out doorways, which was also nice.  And many of the dealers went out of their way to make sure I could see things and felt comfortable viewing their wares.  To the few who didn't have enough room in their stalls for me to check out their wares, I can only say that it's their loss.

belecrivain wheeled me to and from dinner on Friday night, with a few of her friends taking turns pushing me, which was very much appreciated.

I'm definitely looking forward to next year's event, and I hope to be able to help out for it!  And, by next year, I hope to be able to recognize more than just Disney princesses, pirates, ninjas, Star Trek guys, and Pikachus.